Satisfaction

I can’t help but think that perhaps there’s something more out there that I haven’t looked at yet, that I haven’t experienced yet. Maybe there’s something else that’s perfect for me – one of the stupidest hopes that I’ve had.

They aren’t me, and yet I wish I could be them. Or maybe it’s that I wish I could have who they have. I want that same attention bestowed on me. I think, ‘is it too much to ask for’?

And then, what if there’s another ending. What if I haven’t found it yet? What’s the chance of me finding it in the near future?? Can’t I have it now? Why must I wait for it to happen? Or, why can’t I know right now that it’s going to happen?

Too many things I want I don’t have, and other things that I don’t want I have. Couldn’t I just have been perfect in one respect and imperfect in all the others? Even then, maybe I would have complained from wanting to rather become imperfect in just everything.

I don’t know… too many times I’ve said this. It doesn’t change anything, though. I just work through another day wishing that this didn’t have to be what I was good at. I wish I was good at something else. I wish people around me were different.

 I want someone to tell me this road isn’t the right road for me… I don’t want to keep on going… For once, why can’t you decide anything yourself???? Why are you never satisfied??? Why can’t you be happy with what you have, for one time in your life?

Why can’t you just be happy???

~ by skyami on October 4, 2007.